Ex should be spelled X

We have been away from eachother three years but still when i see you, my heart starts pounding. Its not normal and it's not okay! Even when i was dating someone and saw your face, i melted. But now i'm single, and realy desperate after someone that can be close to me. My last ex never wanted to be close to me, instead he pusched me away, looking for other girls to shase. Still he cared in his own wierd way, made me rules and checked up on me. But i don't want that, i want closeness, i want kisses and cuddeling. And you gave me that, you gave me love, a shoulder to cry on. And still you were my best friend. Even thou we broke up to early and were togather such a short time i realy cared about you. And yes, crazy as it may seem, i still care. I never thought i would after all this time, but you can't controll your heart. 

I heard you are with someone else now. The biggest hoe in town, but you walked with her hand in hand. My heart stopped for a second. I guess i want you back, or not my mind, but my heart wants you back. But how? 

We still talk to eachother, awkwardly though. And we were planning to meet up but it never happened. It wasnt so far ago. So thats why i wounder... is there a chanse for us? Or do you actully date that girl?

I know i was cracy when we were dating. I did'nt have much experiens and the feelings became to much for me to handle. It's sick actually, i lost this awsome guy without some explanation. Just one day there and then one day gone. Three years later i want him back, but i guess it might be too late. 

Maby im not meant to be in a good relationship. maby im meant to be alone all my life.

And now i think im gonna cry..